Surge Slim Down Logo

Today at 8AM is the initial weigh in time and the contest will conclude on November 1st.  The total number as of right now is 20 participants but a couple more are expected to trickle in.  If you’d still like to join please contact us at 859.624.0045 and we’ll let you know how you can join.  Good luck everyone!

Although we really wanted to invest money in ping pong jerseys, entrance music, pyrotechnics and, most importantly, a championship belt we didn’t really have the time.  We needed to start competing immediately.  So far there have been 13 broken fingers, 8 lost teeth, 2 voodoo spells cast and 1 restraining order.  Not really any of that, but we sure have burned a few calories!

Here is how the ladder looks today!

…little did anyone know that Officer Doom was, in fact, a flippin’ Pegasus (see also:  a horse with wings), and halfway through the race it spread it’s wings and flew.  Cheap?  Yeah, a little.  But there’s no rule against flying horses winning the Surge Derby (honestly, we never knew we’d need a clause discussing such an incident).

So, quite literally, Officer Doom flew over the contenders, with Slim Jim Dandy coming in at a close second (all of the extra protein from his sponsor helped out quite a bit).  Finishing up third came Trailer Swift, for Swift, the only filly on the track, wanted to meet Officer Doom and then write a massively-popular love song about their misadventures together.

Bonefirez, the favorite to win, struggled to come in fourth, for in the last furlong her hair became entangled and fell in front of her face, causing temporary track-blindness. Then finished Offtothegluefactory, who, though he fell four times during the race, managed to scrounge up enough distance in between falls to come in fifth.

Of course, he was essentially given the fifth place spot, for Hooves o’ Fury and Initfortheoatbag were both disqualified:  Hooves o’ Fury for unnecessary roughness (he set fire to half of the infield), and Initfortheoatbag for hooved robbery (he kept eating the other horses blasted oats).

It was quite a race, to say the least.

You know us, we love to celebrate anything.  But we’re not just having a little get-together and wear big hats.  No, no.  We’re having a race of our own!  See the contenders listed below…

So place your bets!  Who’s going to win?  Will it be Trailer Swift, or Initfortheoats?  What about Bonfirez or Offtothegluefactory?  The results will be posted Monday, after the derby!

Anyway, our good friends next door, Teacher’s Express, recently relocated their business (and are doing quite well), thus leaving a large space available for rent.  Oh, the possibilities.  We’re considering acting upon said space, expanding our business to create new services for our customers.

What kind of services?  Glad you asked.  We’re thinking of setting up 37 cotton candy machines, and allowing parents and kids to come and create a fluffy, sugary treat for only $5 per hour-long session.  It’d be a nice bonding moment, yeah?  We’ve also considered starting our own cheez-wiz facility, creating the worlds best cheez-wiz since the dawn of time.  We’d call it Wizurge, a combination of our Surgeyness, and the cheeses wizziness.  It’d be off the chain.

Okay for real, now.  We’d like to utilize the space to create new offices for our employees, and to set up a first-class lettering and applique station, and possibly some brand new (legitimate and relevant) services, yet to be unveiled (insert “shock and awe” face, here)!

All this to say, we’re obnoxiously excited about what’s happened around this neck o’ the woods.

So what do you think?  What new services should we provide?

Scott Mandl, CFI’s Executive Director, had some encouraging words for us at Surge:

“We truly appreciate Surge helping us out in such a generous way.  This is a great example of a local business using their gifts and talents to ‘give back.’  This is something any business could do, and Surge showed they are a business that truly cares.

“This was especially meaningful to us because Devon…designed our Haiti Team Shirts, and Matt designed the ‘Colonel’s 4 Haiti’ shirt sold on EKU’s campus, which raised enough money to sponsor a teacher.  So not only as a customer, but also as a mission to Haiti, we are very thankful for how much Surge has helped us!”

Stay locked for more updates on the SurgeIMPACT program, as we’ll be letting you know who we will be supporting next in the upcoming weeks!

We’re here to create an impact in our city, our state, and our world.  Thank you all for your support!

…if you don’t know Clark Hilty, you’re missing out.  Clark is a powerhouse of profound statements, witty insights, and hilarious commentary.  He brings a whole lot of joy to this place, and we want to share this joy with the world.

Each day, Clark posts a Lunch Update on his Facebook page.  Now, we’re bringing the Lunch Update to the Culture Blog, because they’re just too awesome to keep to one venue!  So, to give you a sampling of what to expect, we’ve selected a few of these merry musings to whet your palette:

“Lunch update: Stupid wind don’t blow me away. Rain I would appreciate if you could hold it in for just a bit. Don’t pee on us this afternoon. It makes us smell and is very unpleasant.”

“Lunch didn’t allow a lunch update: Stupid Ham”

“Lunch update: What a story today ladies and gentlemen. McDonald’s has caused me grievance once again. The young man at the window attempted to hand me a diet soda (which I didn’t order) then proceeded to say that they are Redneck as he propped the window open by squishing a straw under it. And then they forgot my fries, so I had to go all the way back. Richmond McDonald’s…Thou art officially ghetto redneck. Foos.”

“Lunch Update:  Toastin’ grilled cheese sandwiches in the dryer.  Suckas.  Only we at Surge know the secret of creating the best freakin’ grilled cheese sandwiches in the WORLD!!  You may now be jealous.  It is allowed.”

“Lunch Update: I played some wicked tennis this weekend PLUS played paintball and got lit up (which means got shot at least 8 or more times all over my body which includes but is not limited to my knee, 3 on my chest, back of my leg, side of my leg, left butt cheek, right butt cheek and so on) PLUS I drove 2 hrs away to visit some friends where we hung out on a Walmart rooftop and rode scooters all around a flea market.”

So there it is…expect great things from our new blogger, Clark D. Hilty.

I know, I know… Half of you are thinking this is going to be crap and the other half of you—old t-shirt buffs like myself, no doubt—are nodding your head like I just turned on some old school Funky Cold Medina. Whatever, this isn’t about math. It’s about a t-shirt: a “dude, sweet”-worthy, paint splattered, can’t-find-deals-this-fantastic-at-Goodwill t-shirt that I inherited (or stole, one of those) from my mom in the neighborhood of ten years ago. Well… maybe it took a detour on my brother’s back, but it’s mine now, so whatever. The point of the story is, this t-shirt exemplifies everything I would ever hope the world could possibly think about me in its musty green awesomeness. While bearing in aged, cracking letters The Richard Simmons Show and an awesomely vintage Channel 36 logo on it’s front, it is unique… cheesy… timeless… and extremely legit—just like ol’ Richard. Plus, let’s face it: everything HE represents on my t-shirt is everything I would ever want to be anyway!

Only on few occasions have I worn this t-shirt and not been asked about it or complimented on it. It is a crowd pleaser without doubt and an unlikely one at that. When my mom got this t-shirt at The Richard Simmons Show in a year I would assume is pre-Vanilla Ice time, I’m sure she had no idea she was single-handedly building her future daughter’s wardrobe. I used to wear this t-shirt all the time, but now it has become like a little black dress or my better smelling lotion: only to be worn on worthy occasions. Worthy occasions which have included my uncle Russell’s wedding reception, that time I presented some research at Yale, and that first summer I spent on my favorite rock’ n’ roll band’s tour bus. Listen, this t-shirt has taken me places, okay? Every time I wear it, I can hear both Richard and my mom’s excited squeal in the back of my head, telling me to go out and conquer the world, but first, myself…and try to look 80s-aerobic-shorts-and-headband-combo cool doing so.

It seems a little silly for all of this to stem from owning a t-shirt that my mom tried to throw away more than times than I can count before I got my grubby adolescent hands on it… But we all have one—a t-shirt that represents everything we could ever hope to portray about ourselves in one glance. Mine just so happens to be at a level of cool that allows me to think Richard Simmons has always got my back. Oh, and for the record, he does… He does.

Well…maybe not. But you can’t deny that they’re flippin’ delicious, and Clark shows us the best way to grill the cheese.  Well…I guess he toasts it.  So it’s a toasted cheese.

New fad:  toasted cheese sandwiches.  Grilling is so last year.

Hungry now, aren’t you? Show us your favorite way to grill (or toast) your cheese sandwich!